This post is celebration of Dom McFall, on the event of their BA (Hons) graduation part . While this academic achievement is an incredible feat of smarts, hard work and resilience, even more worthy of praise is Dom’s character, hereby described by some of the people who know her best:
Viv Descroizilles said:
“Who is Dom to me? That’s a pretty loaded question because she’s so much more than my best friend. Dom is my chosen family; she’s seen and comforted me at my lowest, she’s remained a friend through the rocky patches of uncertainty, and she’s been the first to celebrate with me when life is good. Dom is the most solid, certain friend I’ve ever had because when you’re lucky enough to be chosen as her friend, she’s with you through the bad and the good.
Dom is one of the kindest, warmest people I have ever known. When I think of her, I think of the best type of motherly energy; she makes all those in her circle feel safe, seen, and unconditionally loved. Whether you are a colleague, an acquaintance, a partner, or a friend, Dom will take the time and effort to make you comfortable in her space, no matter how that looks for you.
But the thing about Dom that I love most is her ability to laugh at herself. She has a brilliant sense of humour- when she’s being the clumsy mess that she is and trips over nothing or slips on a perfectly normal floor, she is with me, laughing until we cry, and maybe only five minutes later will she mention that that was actually quite painful. She lets me tease her mercilessly, and doesn’t hold back on the close-to-home jabs herself, because that is our love language. In our friendship, no slip of the tongue, or plainly stupid comment, goes ignored- we will remember forever and it will become an inside joke between us.
Our friendship runs on cups of tea when there just aren’t words to comfort the other, spontaneous adventures to the sea, asking for and receiving hugs whenever you need them, late night hysterics when life is just so shit that laughing is the only option, mid-workday dance sessions to “Frequent Letdown” by the Illuminati Hotties or “Shit!” by Bo Burnham when the stress levels are just too high, and heartfelt context conversations, recorded so we can always remember how special we are to each other.
Dom is my closest friend, the surrogate mom of my plants, my on-again off-again housemate, and my family. In the words of her favourite poet, Andrea Gibson, she is my angel of the get-through and I am hers.”
Alex Sutherland said:
“I got to know Dom as a student at Rhodes – as a committed, super bright, fun person who fought for what was just. When we moved to Cape Town, we contacted her to help take care of our boys and she became a loved addition to our family structure. My boys adore Dom; and they are excellent judges of character. She became a caring, creative, fun companion to Jasper and Gabriel. They love stories and reading and so, as we all know does Dom. Gabriel’s extra needs were never an obstacle to the innovative games and activities she did with the boys – including the yearly christmas biscuit decoration festivities. Another new member of our family who can spot an extra special person is our dog Sparkles. Sparkles took one look at Dom and melted immediately in utter adoration. It was quite extraordinary!
Nowadays we don’t see Dom as often as we would like. I am filled with awe at her steadfast ‘getting her shit together’ attitude. This degree is part of that – an enormous enormous achievement for anyone – but especially amidst the vile circumstances that lead her to this point. A big fat finger to those big conservative ‘liberal’ institutions that deserve to crumble into obscurity. Dom has started to build a career, got a degree, and is taking the next big leap by living overseas. She is living her life with integrity and joy. She is a role model for my children. Work hard, have fun, be kind, live life with fierce grace. That is Dominique. We love you Dom – fly fly fly.”
Sean Wentzel said:
“At this stage, both our faces show up next to most of the songs in our Spotify blend (which is what I’m listening to as I’m writing this). And I know whether they’ll like something without needing to ask. I now introduce everyone to Andrea Gibson. When I told Dom I was struggling to understand the context of all the stuff in their life they were telling me about, they made video interviews with their friends and sent them to me. I think I’ve told them every interesting thing that has happened to me in the last six months, and the collected voice notes we’ve exchanged would make for a thrilling radio drama.
They empathize with joy and love (it’s very comforting to have your positive emotions reflected back at you). Perhaps their warm blood is what gives them such unnatural cold tolerance? They have a kind of tenacity that manifests in plans and lots and lots of questions, which leaves me absolutely certain there is an actual human at their core, and which makes me excited to know them.”
Rachel Swartz said:
“I met Dom while looking for a place to live in Cape Town. While I didn’t end up moving in to her home, being her friend made Cape Town feel like home to me.
Once, Dom, our friend Jess and I went camping in Beverlac. To say Dom organized the trip would be an understatement, she had a full spreadsheet of what we needed. I’m talking a color coordinated spreadsheet. She wanted to make sure we had everything we needed and we all felt like we had a part to play. I’m from the states and told Dom I wanted to make American pancakes for breakfast one morning. When we arrived at the camp I discovered she had brought a weighed and portioned out recipe for American pancakes for us to cook on the fire. To live in another country away from everything you know and love is scary, but when you find people that want to see you and experience part of where you come from is very special. This is what I mean when I say Dom makes you feel like you’re home.
Dom is one of those people who is gifted in the art of gathering. She knows how to bring people in her life together and create space for everyone to feel special and heard. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing, whether it’s a spontaneous splash in the tidal pool or an elaborate dinner, she has the special kind of light that when she shines it on you, you leave feeling lighter. In a world that is so heavy and set in its own track, I feel so grateful to know her.”
Gorata Chengeta said:
Dom is one of the most intentional and sensitive friends I have. She makes lovely food, has a great dry sense of humour and is the most admirable cat parent, but this is just scratching the surface of who they are. It’s difficult to put our connection into words or describe the impact Dom’s had in my life. The words “affirming” and “caring” cannot give the full picture of what it’s like to have someone in your life who provides a safe space for your growth, connection and new depths of vulnerability. Knowing Dom has been transformative and taught me loads. I’ve learned that I can be safe enough to be my fullest self in a relationship. When I need to quieten my inner critic, I learn from how Dom treats me. Having become friends during some really painful years, it feels like we have really grown up together. In the face of some of the cruelest circumstances, Dom teaches me that joy must always be pursued. There are alpacas, seals and whales to be seen. There are sunsets and sunrises to chase. There are rock pools to be swum in. There is plenty of ice-cream to be enjoyed. And of course, there is poetry to be shared (both Andrea Gibson’s and our own).
Most admirably, Dom lives courageously. When I was younger, I might’ve thought courage was what was seen in movies: dramatic action-packed displays of risk . Through Dom, I know that courage is finding the will to create a beautiful life, to care for people and to act with integrity as instinct. Courage is to be, like Dom, insistent on adventure and feeling deeply, even amidst your fear and uncertainty.”
Dr Lynda said:
“I first met Dominique in 2017, [when] she had to take English 2 and English 3 simultaneously. Of course I was worried about this, but she assured me that she would manage the workload. Dominique always came to class prepared, she enjoyed Chick Lit because it allowed her to express her opinions and to think through her ideas on feminism. In 2019, I had the opportunity to see Dominique again when she presented a paper at Afems Conference at Wits Univeristy. I will always remember Dominique for her enthusiasm, her zeal for life and her work ethic.”
gorata chengeta 